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:iconstarlitnova: More from StarlitNova




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December 10, 2012
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Today I killed a butterfly. Not just any butterfly, but the special one my crush gave me.
I couldn't help it, it had been too long. I just sat there, repeatedly dragging the knife across my skin as my tears mixed with the blood. As I did it I washed the rest of the almost faded butterfly away; it was dead, there was nothing I could do. I'd already torn off it's wings and snapped it's body in two, the least I could do was wash away the rest of it's mangled remains. It was too much of a reminder. A reminder that I had failed her.
I really did try this time. Most of the time I just ignore it, and kill it when the first urge comes, but this time I didn't. She was so proud of me. This time I managed to keep it for a whole 16 days, my best, ever. Daily she would text me and ask, "Is it still alive?" and I could always answer yes, but today I couldn't bring myself to answer. I think she understood, because a few minutes later she texted back, "I'm sorry..." and I just couldn't bare it, so I threw my phone out the window. I'd failed her, and her she was trying to comfort me. I don't deserve any sympathy.
That is why I'm writing this, so everyone on this entire fucked up planet can see what a failure I am. Today I killed a butterfly, and it was the most beautiful butterfly in the world.
Sorry if that was depressing. The thing with the butterfly challenge is when either you or someone you care about draws a butterfly on you, and if you cut while the butterfly is still "alive" (not faded away) then you kill it. This story in and of itself isn't true, I just kinda mixed together a bunch of experiences and feelings.
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:icondinosurgirl:
DinosurGirl Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Student Writer
I tried doing the butterfly project. My best friend drew a butterfly, and i tried to keep it...but sometimes cookies break. I promise your not a failure, you just crumbled. I know how it feels. I promise<3
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:iconstarlitnova:
StarlitNova Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Student Writer
thank you. right now i have eleven drawn in crayola, so the support is helpful
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:icondinosurgirl:
DinosurGirl Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Writer
how do you have butteflies drawn in crayola??/ lol
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:iconstarlitnova:
StarlitNova Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Student Writer
the markers :)
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:icondinosurgirl:
DinosurGirl Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student Writer
Ohh. Nevrmind xD
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